Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Randomize
