Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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