No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
