there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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