Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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