They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
