You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize