if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
