he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
