I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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