I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My penis needs a shock collar
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
