I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
