Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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