he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize