smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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