I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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