yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
