She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
