My pussy is not your playground.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
