another moral hangover. fuck.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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