well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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