I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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