Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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