Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
