yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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