If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
