i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
