these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
