I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She said her name was "party"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
