To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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