I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
