He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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