Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.

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(513): View more from Ohio

im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen

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(512): View more from Texas

did you find a tooth?

(254): View more from Texas

did you lose one?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(606): View more from Kentucky

It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"

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(870): View more from Arkansas

To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.

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(408): View more from California

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

(479): View more from Arkansas

MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.

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