I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
