while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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