12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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