i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Is it because I queefed?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
