What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
