Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
