Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Moan for me like Helen Keller
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
