he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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