It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
