her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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