he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize