I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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