And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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