i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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