Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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