also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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