how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
