There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
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He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize