Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
