he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
