I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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