Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
