I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
