hotel room ftw
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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