Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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