i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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