That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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