I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
