Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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