no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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