I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
