I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
