it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
