brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
