Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
